I need a maid...and other things

I absolutely CANNOT keep up with housework, laundry, shopping, bill-paying, and working so one of my early New Year's resolutions is to engage the services of a part-time maid or cleaning service. (If the punctuation in the previous sentence is not correct, sue me.) I may have to sell a kidney to accomplish it, but I think it will be worth it. (I mean, after the post-op pain subsided. Oh wait, I could be on DRUGS!)

How and when did we all become so busy? I remember (vaguely and fondly) when I used to be able to read for pleasure, watch television, play video games, quilt, go bowling, whatever...and my house was reasonably clean. Now I live in constant fear that the environmental health services is going to condemn my house. I don't even cook much anymore because the three of us (TWOPM, Tink, and I) are seldom there at the same time. The only reason I will turn on the oven for just myself is for a baked potato, but I don't often think of it an hour before I'm hungry.

As I was sitting here contemplating engaging the services of a maid, I realized that I would probably work myself into an absolute frenzy before she arrived just so I would not be embarrassed by my filthy house. TWOPM says that is a "typically female response." I have instructed TWOPM and Tink to set the house on fire (with me in it) if I should die before a) I clean it, or b) I get a maid.

I would love to simplify my life; any suggestions?